KG the Graduate
by frostyfreezyfreeze54
Summary: KG's finally moving on from the eighth grade and making his way into high school, but the celebration is short-lived when a viral comedy routine threatens to keep him from the graduation ceremony. Meanwhile, in an attempt to get closer, Wade and Jaylynn start bonding through private conversations, but their newfound closeness confuses the boys and Adriana.
1. KG the Graduate Script

_Thank You, Heavenly _

Theme Song: "Let It Roll" by Divide the Day

SEASON 7

EPISODE 27

Airdate: May 19, 2019

"KG the Graduate"

Special Guest Stars: Larisa Oleynik as Denise

_#TYH725_

SCENE 1

Laugh Machine

Interior Chuckle's Diner

Seattle, Washington

_One night, KG is performing another comedy routine. He keeps tugging at his collar out of nervousness while the crowd looks unimpressed and disgusted. _

KG: So, you know, it was crazy, right? The peanut butter comes out of the mental institution, right? So the peanut butter's walking around with the grape jelly when the grape jelly's all like, "So, why were you in that cuckoo goofy home, anyway?" And the peanut butter said, "Because I was a little nutty."

_Beat._

CROWD MEMBER: Get off the damn stage!

KG: Hey, look, you didn't like that one? Well, I got something better than jokes. Back by popular demand, the dance routine of the century. Hit my music!

_Beat._

KG: Hit my music, I'm on stage, you idiots, hit my music!

_Beat._

KG: HIT MY MUSIC!

_("Candy Rain" by Soul for Real begins playing over the club's loudspeakers as KG rips off his clothes to reveal a wife beater and black Adidas sweatpants. He then performs an uncoordinated dance routine to "Candy Rain" and the crowd begins throwing plastic bottles at him to express their displeasure.)_

CROWD MEMBER #2: Stop doing comedy!

CROWD MEMBER #3: Amateur!

CROWD MEMBER #4: F***ing white people don't even know how to dance.

_KG begins crying and singing the lyrics to "Candy Rain" while continuing his lackluster dancing. Cut to KG waking up in his bed that morning, revealing the whole thing to be a dream._

KG: Great. Now, I hate that song.

SCENE 2

The Jennings Household

Interior Kitchen

Seattle, Washington

_That same morning, RK is eating cereal at the kitchen table when KG walks in slowly. _

RK: Good morning, brother. Beautiful day, isn't it?

KG: Ah, who cares when you're a 14-year-old has-been?

RK: Let me guess. You had that nightmare where you were telling shitty jokes again, and then started inexplicably dancing to 90s R&B?

KG: How did you know that?

RK: Because we've had this conversation every morning for the past week. Pretty sure in your last nightmare, you were diddy bopping to 702 or something.

KG: I don't know what's wrong with me, man. I thought when I started doing comedy, I was going to be a hit. I've been at this for years and I still don't have one classic routine.

RK: Don't put so much pressure on yourself. The best comedians spent years being terrible before people started throwing money at them. Just keep paying your dues.

KG: I'm done paying. It's time for them to pay me and I'll spend the cash any way I want. Or maybe I'll take the cash and use it to help improve my community. What?

RK: Dude, are you sure you don't need to see anybody?

KG: Please, half of who you are comes from me. And a little bit of Dad, but not the annoying part that everyone hates.

RK: I'm just saying, you should be focusing on other things. Like your graduation. You're leaving junior high, that's huge.

KG: Yeah, you're right. Just another reminder that I'm getting older and I'll spend the next four years hating the educational system for killing my creativity.

RK: Hey, I'm trying to spread some positivity here. Don't ruin this for me!

SCENE 3

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

_The gang is talking by their lockers._

RK: So, are we still on for the movie?

BUSTER: Like hell, we are!

SPARKY: Buster, when you say that, that means you don't want to see the movie.

BUSTER: Like hell, we're not!

SPARKY: Eh, you'll get there eventually.

JAYLYNN: Wait a minute, what movie?

SPARKY: _Another Misunderstanding_. It's the sequel to _The Big Misunderstanding._

JAYLYNN: Hmmm. I don't remember getting invited to that.

WADE: Yeah, there wasn't any mention of bringing me along either.

RK: Sorry, guys. We would have asked you to come, but you didn't even like the first movie. It would have been a waste of time.

JAYLYNN: Still, the courtesy would have been enough.

WADE: Besides, without us, you won't get to hear our commentary on the movie.

BUSTER: Ewww, I hate when people do that. Well, that and shooting at the screen.

RK: Yeah, I don't want that around me. I love you guys, but the last thing I need to hear is Wade talking about the sodium content of chicken sauce or Jaylynn yapping during the previews.

_RK walks away from the guys._

JAYLYNN: Better people hear my voice during the previews than his.

SPARKY: Sorry, guys. We can still hang out at Ike's tomorrow. Ah, how about it?

WADE: Yeah, why not?

JAYLYNN: You got it, dude.

SPARKY: Alright, see you at lunch.

_Sparky walks away from the guys._

BUSTER: Wade, I just wanted to say that I appreciate your thoughts on chicken sauce.

JAYLYNN: What about my thoughts on the previews?

_Beat. Buster looks at his hands for a few seconds, then walks away without saying anything. _

WADE: Hey, has it ever occurred to you that Sparky, Buster, and RK like doing stuff without us?

JAYLYNN: Yeah, what's up with that? It's like we're outsiders or something.

WADE: I mean, if it's not the movies, then they're going bowling or to baseball games or...or taking trips to the water fountain.

JAYLYNN: You know what I think? Those guys have known each other since day one. They've had plenty of time to bond and find things in common.

WADE: You're right. What's stopping us from doing that? You wanna come over later and hang out?

JAYLYNN: Sure, that would be awesomesauce. Just don't say it like that next time.

WADE: Like what?

JAYLYNN: Like, "You wanna come over later?" It's like you want us to do things with each other.

WADE: Jaylynn, it's a straightforward question.

JAYLYNN: I know, but I was watching this commercial last night and this guy asked this girl the exact same thing. Before she knew it, she was locked in his car trunk with a sneaker stuck in her mouth.

SCENE 4

Craig Bartlett Junior High School

Interior Lunchroom

Seattle, Washington

_KG is eating lunch with Rodney, Trevor, and Denise. He looks depressed. _

DENISE: KG, what's wrong? You're not excited about graduating?

KG: No. How can I when my comedy career is going nowhere?

RODNEY: You're 14 years old, what kind of career did you think you would have?

KG: I don't know, something special. I haven't had that one big routine yet. The one where people can recite every joke the minute you bring it up. I feel like Plankton trying to get the Krabby Patty formula.

TREVOR: You know, in the first movie, Plankton actually did get the formula.

KG: Yes, thank you for bringing that up when it doesn't help me at all. I need something big. I need it to get all of Seattle's attention. In fact, as a graduation gift to myself, I'm going to have my comedy go viral for the very first time.

DENISE: You sure you don't want to wait until after graduation? You might get distracted.

KG: Nope. I have to start now. Besides, what am I really supposed to look forward to in the eighth grade? Waking up super early for the senior trip the day after graduation? The yearbook that only you guys will sign? The last day of school where everyone promises to keep in touch and we never do?

TREVOR: Maybe you could cover yourself in white paint when you do your next comedy routine. Call it whiteface.

_Beat._

KG: Yup, the sooner I leave this school, the better. I'm going to the bathroom.

_KG leaves the table and heads for the bathroom. _

TREVOR: You know, I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I don't think KG takes me seriously.

RODNEY: Didn't I tell you that yesterday?

TREVOR: Yeah, but I didn't take you seriously when you said it. I just feel so dirty. I've known KG since the sixth grade, and all he thinks of me is that stupid idiot who doesn't add anything to his life.

DENISE: Maybe if you said and did less stupid things, he would appreciate you more.

TREVOR: Denise, please, I'm trying to figure out what to do about KG. Wait a minute. I got it. Before we graduate, I'm going to get KG to start taking me seriously. I'll turn my whole life around, and by the last day of school, he won't even remember the old Trevor.

RODNEY: You sure you can pull that off?

TREVOR: Of course I can. I have ideas and shit. I was the one who mixed syrup and honey together to make a tasty breakfast sauce.

DENISE: That sauce was disgusting.

TREVOR: You're welcome, Denise.

SCENE 5

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

_That afternoon, Wade and Jaylynn are watching TV. _

WADE: This is great, isn't it? We don't need the others. Just you and me, Wade and Jaylynn.

JAYLYNN: Damn right. This is where it's at.

_Beat._

JAYLYNN: This isn't where it's at, is it?

WADE: No. I don't know what's going on. We've hung out before, how come it's so forced right now?

JAYLYNN: I think it's because we're doing this to spite people who don't even know about it. It's like screaming at someone that can't hear you.

WADE: I know we can figure out a way to make this work. Every emotional connection can be broken down to a science.

JAYLYNN: You really like breaking things down to a science, don't you?

WADE: Not many things in life are better. Well, Adriana's at the top of the list, but that goes without saying.

JAYLYNN: Ugh, don't even mention that girl. Or Anna. I can't stand them.

WADE: I'm missing an entire backstory here.

JAYLYNN: It's nothing, it's just that we've never been close like that. They're like their own little clique that doesn't understand why you guys hang out with me.

WADE: That's not the way they see it.

JAYLYNN: What are you talking about?

WADE: I mean, I hang out with them all the time. I've eaten dinner with them. They don't have a problem with you.

JAYLYNN: You lie. Why do you feel the need to lie to me when I'm right here?

WADE: I'm serious. There's no hostility on their side. They want to talk to you more, but they don't know how to approach you because you're so guarded.

JAYLYNN: Well, whose fault is that? I don't trust anyone that easily. You have to earn it. Besides, they never even apologized for breaking into my house so they could do that Christmas home shopping shit.

WADE: Oh yeah, they regret doing that. They know they should have checked in with you first.

JAYLYNN: See? How come they never told me that? I'm just saying, if we were all living in Portland, I would have done something a long time ago.

WADE: Jaylynn, do you exaggerate some of your Portland stories?

JAYLYNN: No. That place was rough back then. You couldn't play around with that city. When I was living there, there were streets you couldn't even be on at a certain time because of all the things that could happen.

WADE: We've been there twice and the worst street I was on had people selling Bebe Rexha CD's.

JAYLYNN: They gentrified it! Go back in time to 2012, you wouldn't want to mention that place again.

SCENE 6

The Jennings Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

_That night, KG is watching TV and taking notes. RK walks downstairs and notices that the lights are off._

RK: Hey, why is it so dark in here?

KG: Keeping the lights off is helping my concentration. You know who that is on TV?

RK: Yeah, it's Chris Rock. Do _you_ know who that is?

KG: Look at him, brother. Look at the confidence, the grace, the swagger in his steps. If a sniper came down and left him in a pool of his own blood right there, it wouldn't matter because of all the great jokes he told. It's majestic.

RK: There's something very creepy about the way you said all that. By the way, how was your graduation practice?

KG: Eh, it was okay. Everybody kept talking and messing up the march so we were there longer than we were supposed to. Then after we were done, our English teacher went on this rant about how we're unfocused, unmotivated pieces of shit.

RK: He really said that?

KG: Well, _she _didn't necessarily say "pieces of shit," but you have to pick up on the context.

RK: So, what are you doing now?

KG: I vowed today at school that as a graduation gift to myself, I would have a viral comedy routine. Right now, I'm studying the greats. What made them legends? What routines turned them into household names? You ever seen Eddie Murphy's old work?

RK: No.

KG: Okay, good. Don't ever watch him without me in the room. There's a lot of inappropriate language in there you wouldn't understand.

RK: KG, I'm not four.

KG: Hey, I'm telling you for your own good. Eddie's comedy is not for little boys.

RK: Okay, I won't watch him.

KG: Great.

_Beat._

KG: I really like these talks. We don't always get to have them.

SCENE 7

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

_Wade and Jaylynn are sleeping on the couch that night. At that point, Adriana walks in and turns the lights on to see the two asleep._

ADRIANA: Whoa, whoa, what's going on here?

_Wade and Jaylynn immediately wake up._

WADE: Adriana, is that you?

JAYLYNN: I wasn't doing anything.

ADRIANA: Seriously, what happened? You guys having a little sleepover?

WADE: Adriana, I swear nothing happened. We were just talking for a while and then we both fell asleep.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, it was eye-opening. Alright, I'm out. Great talk, Wade, we should do this again some time.

WADE: Likewise.

_Jaylynn adjusts her beanie, then catches Adriana staring a hole through her._

JAYLYNN: Hola.

_Jaylynn leaves the house and closes the door. _

ADRIANA: Wade, please tell me nothing happened between you two.

WADE: I already told you nothing happened!

ADRIANA: Yeah, but what if something did happen, but you were just so good at lying to me the first time that you made me believe nothing happened?

WADE: I feel like we're way too young to have these problems.

ADRIANA: Look, Wade, I love you and I trust you. It's her I don't trust. I don't know what she tried doing to you.

WADE: And yeah, doubling down on it makes it even creepier. Adriana, I've been friends with Jaylynn for years. We were just hanging out. Besides, you know she likes girls. She used to be in love with Anja.

ADRIANA: Are you sure she really likes girls, or she just said that so she wouldn't have to try talking to guys?

WADE: I'm starting to see why Jaylynn doesn't talk to you and Anna more often.

SCENE 8

Craig Bartlett Junior High School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

_The next morning, Rodney and Trevor are near their lockers._

TREVOR: I think I figured out the best way to make KG take me more seriously.

RODNEY: Oh yeah, what's that?

TREVOR: Well, I think the reason KG doesn't think I'm smart is because he can't talk to me. You know, on his level. When it comes to you and Denise, he's always talking to you guys about this deep, intellectual, philosophical stuff.

RODNEY: Trevor, the last time I talked to KG, it was about his favorite pudding flavor.

TREVOR: See? I can't even dream of having those conversations with him. Until today. When KG walks through those doors, I'm going to bring up a real intellectual topic. We'll talk about it, and in the back of KG's mind, he'll probably think, "Damn. This Trevor kid's not half bad."

RODNEY: What if he doesn't think anything? There's always a chance of him not caring at all.

TREVOR: You have a negative energy sometimes. Beth's told me about that before.

RODNEY: Hey, don't talk to my girlfriend about my personality!

TREVOR: Shit, here he comes. Act casual.

_Trevor inexplicably strikes a "sexy" pose while Rodney shakes his head. KG walks up to the guys. _

KG: Morning, guys.

TREVOR: What's going down, KG? Isn't it a great day to talk about something tasteful? Intellectual?

KG: I guess. I don't know, I've been trying out a whole bunch of jokes for my next show at the Laugh Machine. This one has to kill.

RODNEY: You shouldn't worry about that, man. You know you're a funny guy.

KG: Yeah, but am I funny enough to start trending on Twitter? Meet James Corden and answer his annoying questions? I won't know until this weekend.

TREVOR: In the meantime, why don't you take a break? Talk about something valuable? Or talk about someone valuable like Alexander Hamilton.

KG: Why would I wanna talk about Alexander Hamilton?

TREVOR: Why not? He fought for our country, he's on actual money. He has his very own Broadway play. There aren't even presidents that can say that they have kickass raps, can they?

_Beat._

KG: You're weird this morning. I'll see you guys at lunch.

_KG continues walking away._

TREVOR: Well, that sucks. Now, I'm back to square one.

RODNEY: Maybe if you brought up Grover Cleveland, he would have been interested in talking.

TREVOR: Rodney, if you're gonna bust my balls, could you at least mention someone that actually exists?! I mean, what's wrong with you?!

_Rodney gives Trevor a bored look._

SCENE 9

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Lunchroom

Seattle, Washington

_At lunch, the guys are talking about "Another Misunderstanding."_

SPARKY: Honestly, I think _Another Misunderstanding _was better than the first one.

BUSTER: I thought so too. I felt like there was more emotion this time. Like, with this movie, you realized how important it is to communicate.

RK: You know, the whole cast was on _Fallon_ the other night, and apparently, they're negotiating their contracts to make a third movie.

SPARKY: Really? Why?

RK: Somebody has to cash those checks.

BUSTER: I don't think that's a good idea. I mean, just because _Toy Story _made three movies, doesn't mean they should.

SPARKY: Aren't they coming out with another _Toy __Story _movie?

BUSTER: I'm trying to pretend that's not happening.

JAYLYNN: So Wade, I was thinking today, to mix it up, you come to my place.

WADE: That's a great idea. I had this thought yesterday that I forgot about. Maybe it will come back today.

RK: What's going on here?

WADE: Oh, nothing. Yesterday, Jaylynn and I hung out for a while so we wanted to pick up where we left off after school.

SPARKY: But I thought we were all going to Ike's after school.

JAYLYNN: Sorry, man. Gotta take a rain check. We have a lot to discuss.

WADE: Indeed, we do.

BUSTER: Hey, we're your friends too. Maybe we have some things to discuss.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, but not this kind of stuff. Come on, Wade, let's go plan everything out near the jungle gym.

WADE: You lead the way.

_Wade gives the boys a sly smile as he follows Jaylynn to the playground._

SPARKY: What are those two up to?

RK: I know. I bet they're plotting something juicy.

BUSTER: It can't be that bad. Maybe they're just talking about which one of us they would want to punch in the face.

_Sparky and Buster turn their attention to RK, who looks confused. _

RK: What are you looking at me for? We don't know who they would choose.

SPARKY: It's okay. Wade and Jaylynn want to have their little chats, we can have some little chats too. Think fast, guys. Whatever topic's in your head, just spit it out and we'll talk about it.

BUSTER: Ooh, I got a good one! Reminisce about the first pair of pants you ever owned.

SPARKY: Okay, a little unusual, but I can work with that. My first pair of pants was special. I remember the brand, I remember the length...

RK: Do you remember the times we've had better conversations than this one?

BUSTER: Yeah, like we don't know who they would choose.

SCENE 10

Ike's Ice Cream Emporium

Interior Booth

Seattle, Washington

_After school, KG is finishing a soda and taps the bottom of the glass to get the rest of it. He then licks the inside of the glass and pounds his fist on the table._

KG: Hey Woody, I'm dry over here! WOODY!

_Woody walks up to KG with a tray holding two more glasses of soda, which he places on the table._

WOODY: KG, stop acting drunk. It's frustrating the other customers.

KG: Look, I have a lot on my mind. Leave me alone.

WOODY: What are you even doing here? I haven't seen you around in years.

KG: I just thought it would be nice to go back to the place where it all started. Where I knew who I was instead of drifting endlessly into the sea of nothingness.

WOODY: Fool, what are you talking about?

KG: I have to perform at the Laugh Machine this weekend. It's my first routine in a while and I just want it to leave everyone in the hospital from chest pains. They don't have to die, but, you know, they can go to the ER and I'll be okay with it.

WOODY: What have you been doing to prepare?

KG: Eh, just watching the greats do what they do best. Carlin, Chappelle, Rock, Seinfeld.

WOODY: When you say "Seinfeld," I hope you're talking about the show.

KG: No, I had to learn what not to do this weekend.

WOODY: Oh. You know, Chris Rock was just like you. He wanted his comedy to blow up and he was running out of chances. Then he came out with _Bring the Pain _and he was outta here.

KG: Please, like I could ever have a _Bring the Pain_.

WOODY: You won't, but that's not the point, kid. Chris talked about what he knew, what he saw around him. That's what people like. He did that whole thing about how there are two types of black people. It was raw, but it was real.

KG: Didn't he stop doing that routine because white people didn't get it?

WOODY: Man, why do you keep missing the point? What I'm saying is, speak your reality. You do that, the right people will listen to you.

KG: Speak my reality. I guess I could do that. Thanks, Woody. It was nice to come here again.

WOODY: Any time, kid.

KG: Hey, you know, since I'm RK's brother and you sometimes comp his orders, you think you could do that for me? You know, for an old customer?

WOODY: I don't comp your brother's orders. You're gonna pay me what you owe.

_Woody walks away._

KG: When it's the right time, I'm smacking RK in the back of his head.

SCENE 11

The Jennings Household

Interior KG's Bedroom

Seattle, Washington

_At night, KG is at his desk working on new jokes on his laptop._

KG: Ugh. This is hopeless. Speak my reality? Yeah, like I'm gonna make these great jokes about Rodney's love life. My reality sucks!

_KG gets up from his seat and falls backwards on his bed._

KG: This is it for me. On Saturday, I'm gonna be in a wife beater dancing to "No Diggity." Flailing around, reinforcing the stereotype that white people have no rhythm and shit. Wait a minute. White people have no rhythm? No rhythm! That's it!

_KG goes back to his laptop and begins typing._

KG: "Okay, you ever noticed the way white people dance sometimes? They can hear any song and it doesn't matter, they'll all move around like noodle-legged scarecrows." And then I can dance to a 90s R&B song. I think...I think that's it. I'll do what Chris Rock did. I'll take a couple jabs at my own people. Nothing wrong with that. Okay, what other stereotypes can I bring up? "You ever noticed how white people put mayo on everything, but they never get the hint that they should add it to their tuna salad?" Yes, this is what I've been looking for.

SCENE 12

The Hernandez Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

_The next day, Wade and Jaylynn are having another conversation._

JAYLYNN: You know, it's not like I hate people, not anymore. I've tried to be more lovable, but it's like, I don't wanna try so hard. Why should I have to change who I am just to make you happy? F*** you.

WADE: That's a good point. Humans shouldn't have to make concessions for others, but it's a survival tactic. If you can appeal to everybody, you're ahead of so many people.

JAYLYNN: That's stupid. Honestly, you should be happy to have some really good friends. I don't know what I would have done if you guys weren't around in my life.

WADE: Eh, you would have been okay.

JAYLYNN: I don't think so. Sparky kinda changed my life. Besides, you guys hated me when you first met me.

WADE: I thought you were attractive.

JAYLYNN: Eh, everybody thinks that. They see this face, this...this beautiful work of art that I am and don't realize that I'm full of rage and aggression. And about eighty pounds of ice cream cake.

WADE: You love ice cream cake.

JAYLYNN: I love everything, I don't care what it is. We're all going to die one day. Why should I have to watch what I eat? A good diet won't help me get a job.

WADE: Those two things aren't exactly comparable, but I appreciate the sentiment.

_At that point, there is a knock at the door._

WADE: You expecting someone?

JAYLYNN: No, you?

WADE: No. I didn't tell anyone I would be here.

_Jaylynn gets up and looks through the peephole. She sees RK and Sparky._

JAYLYNN: Oh, no. I'll take care of this.

_Jaylynn opens the door and goes outside to see the guys._

JAYLYNN: Whaddya want?

SPARKY: We were just in the neighborhood and we wanted to know if you and Wade were in the mood to go to the park.

JAYLYNN: Go to the park? For what?

RK: I don't know, hit the swings? Play baseball, slide down that big pole thing? You know, things that kids like to do?

JAYLYNN: Eh, I'll pass on that. I know you didn't ask Wade, but I'll just speak for him and say he doesn't want to come either.

SPARKY: Jaylynn, what's going on with you two? I know we didn't take you guys to the movie, but we all knew you didn't want to see it.

JAYLYNN: It's not about the movie. It's bigger than that. Wade and I are in there bonding, trying to get to know each other better.

RK: You've been friends with him for six million years. What could you find out about him that you already haven't?

JAYLYNN: I don't know. His hopes, his dreams? His secret desire to bake cupcakes? Wait, I said too much. This talk never happened.

_Jaylynn quickly goes back inside the house and RK and Sparky look at each other with concern. Cut to Buster in his car looking at his fingers._

BUSTER: Ugh, I need to get these nails cut for the summertime.

_At that point, Sparky and RK walk back into the car: Sparky in the passenger's seat and RK in the backseat. _

BUSTER: What happened? They said no?

SPARKY: Yup. Apparently, they're in there bonding and getting to know each other better.

BUSTER: But they already know each other. Why do they need to make it a big deal? I know you guys, I don't need to question that.

SPARKY: I don't think it's that cut and dry, buddy.

RK: I'll tell you what is cut and dry. The fact that I thought I knew Wade, but he's in there trying to trade in his Lexus for a newer, shinier Lexus.

SPARKY: Come again?

BUSTER: I think he means that Wade and Jaylynn love each other and they're in there...you know, holding hands and stuff.

RK: See, my blonde-haired friend always gets it.

SPARKY: That's ridiculous. Jaylynn likes girls and Wade's already dating Adriana. He can't do better than that.

BUSTER: You're saying Adriana's better than Jaylynn? At what? Explain yourself.

SPARKY: I'm scared and confused right now.

RK: Look, maybe I'm wrong and this is all just some wacky sitcom nonsense, but my intuition doesn't miss. I'm keeping my eye on those two just to make sure everything's on the up and up.

SPARKY: While you do that, I'll leave them alone. They want space from us, so I'll give it to them.

BUSTER: Hey, if Wade and Jaylynn ever had kids, would they be three races?

RK: I don't think so. Jaylynn's mixed, so either her white or Hispanic genes would dominate.

SPARKY: Why are we still talking about this?!

SCENE 13

The Laugh Machine

Interior Chuckle's Diner

Seattle, Washington

_On the day of KG's new set, Rodney, Trevor, and Denise are backstage while he's preparing._

DENISE: So I found out that Danielle's coming to graduation.

RODNEY: Really? You guys are already that close?

DENISE: Well, we're still working on it, but we talk a lot more and she wants to support me. She's already telling her friends that her little sister's the salutatorian.

TREVOR: The salutatorian. I think that's the person that's right below the valedictorian in GPA, but still gets to give a speech. Isn't that right, KG?

KG: _*while looking through his cards*_ Huh? Yeah, probably. No, _this_ is the song I should dance to.

TREVOR: He's already impressed by me. How about that for applied knowledge?

DENISE: That's not applied knowledge, and I have absolutely no idea what you're doing.

KG: Alright, guys, time to go. I'm about to start.

DENISE: Okay, we'll be in front. Good luck.

_Denise kisses KG on the cheek and leaves._

RODNEY: So, you're still not going to tell us why you're wearing a tracksuit?

KG: You'll find out soon enough.

_Rodney bumps fists with KG and pats him on the back before leaving. Trevor and KG stare at each other for a few seconds._

KG: You okay, man?

TREVOR: I would just like you to have a very stimulating performance. May it be tasteful and exuberant.

_Trevor gives KG a Japanese-style bow and leaves the backstage area._

KG: That boy gets weirder every day.

_Cut to the front of the stage where a spotlight is placed on the mic stand._

PA ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, please welcome our next comedian here at the Laugh Machine. He's one of our regulars and he has returned to us! He is the one and only KG Jennings!

_Free-form jazz music plays in the background as KG runs on stage and the audience claps for him. He flexes his muscles and then bows._

KG: Alright, what a beautiful crowd, just beautiful. You know, it wasn't that long ago that I first appeared at the Laugh Machine. I didn't know if I was even that funny and now, I'm about to graduate junior high. How about that? Just a couple months away from more drugs, more hormones, and more sweaty-necked football players.

_KG gives a cheeky smile as the crowd laughs._

KG: See, here's the thing. In America today, we have a lot of things going on, a lot of...racism going on. Who's more racist, white people or black people? White people, you know why? Because we get scared when anybody says we're racist.

_*audience laughter*_

KG: That's like our trigger word for a fight. Everything that white people get hated for, we can't stand to hear it. We never look in the mirror, so we try to act like it doesn't exist. "Man, we be in that post-racial society, bro. You're playing the race card, brah." Dude, I think when you've committed every possible crime known to man, enslaved generations of people, and still find time to hate other races, you should probably expect that to come up in conversation.

_*audience laughter*_

KG: And that's not even getting into the little things we do that people hate. Like our dancing. When was the last time you saw a great white dancer? Hold that thought, the last time you saw a great white dancer, MLK was still talking about having a dream.

_*audience laughter*_

KG: That's because they don't exist anymore. Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire would spit on us if they saw the dancing we do today. Put on any song, doesn't matter what it is, and we'll end up doing some shit like this.

_"Candy Rain" begins playing over the loudspeakers and KG takes off his hoodie to reveal a wife beater to go with his sweatpants. He then dances to the song in the same way he did in his dream, but this time, he gets the desired reaction as the audience laughs and records the routine._

SCENE 14

Craig Bartlett Junior High School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

_On Monday, KG walks into school wearing sunglasses and gets mobbed by the kids in the hall. _

KG: Hey, hey, easy there, watch yourself. Oh, you saw the set too? Yeah, I can see it in your face. You watched it. I know.

_KG walks up to Rodney, Trevor, and Denise. _

KG: So, I'm guessing I killed it this weekend?

RODNEY: Dude, you serial killed it. They're even talking about you online.

KG: Really?

DENISE: Yeah. Someone uploaded your jokes on YouTube and there are comments all over the place.

TREVOR: It's true. I'm still thinking about that joke you made about Republicans in the closet. When I got home, I pissed myself for three minutes.

KG: That's disgusting and amazing at the same time. I can't believe this. My jokes, my own little jokes that I wrote in my room are being talked about. This is all I ever really wanted.

_Static is heard over the school loudspeakers. _

PRINCIPAL SCHAEFER _(V.O.)_: Kevin Jennings, report to the principal's office. Kevin Jennings, please report to the principal's office.

_Beat._

KG: That can't mean anything, can it?

DENISE: No, of course not. You're fine.

TREVOR: Besides, he said Kevin Jennings, not KG Jennings, so you don't have to worry.

_KG, Rodney, and Denise give Trevor bored looks. _

TREVOR: What? I'm telling the truth.

SCENE 15

Craig Bartlett Junior High School

Interior Principal's Office

Seattle, Washington

_KG is in the office with Principal Schaefer. _

PRINCIPAL SCHAEFER: Kevin, I just want to say that I'm very concerned.

KG: With what, your balding? I'm not. Just shave it off and be free.

PRINCIPAL SCHAEFER: I'm concerned with your comedy routine. It's causing an uproar on social media and a lot of people are offended by it.

KG: Sir, with all due respect, they were just jokes. It's not like I was telling everybody to go kill white people. You know that.

PRINCIPAL SCHAEFER: I know that, Kevin. And I also know that in this day and age, it's very easy for people to have extreme points of view. But I can't ignore what everyone thinks.

KG: So, what happens now? Detention?

PRINCIPAL SCHAEFER: I don't think that's really fair. No detention, no suspension, none of that.

KG: Wise decision, sir.

PRINCIPAL SCHAEFER: But I'll just remove you from the graduation ceremony and call it a day.

KG: What?! I can't go to my own graduation because of some jokes?!

PRINCIPAL SCHAEFER: Relax, you'll still advance to the ninth grade and receive your diploma.

KG: But I won't be able to march with my friends. I won't be able to move my tassel to whatever direction you're supposed to move it. My girlfriend's the salutatorian, I'll miss her speech!

PRINCIPAL SCHAEFER: That can be taken care of. She can't just record it beforehand and let you give her notes? Look, KG, this is a case of public...

_("Dead Man's Arms" by Bishop Briggs plays in the background)_

_Principal Schaefer's dialogue is gradually drowned out by the music. The camera slowly zooms into KG's face, carrying a look of shock, anger, and disappointment. His mouth is also slightly open. A single tear comes down KG's cheek as the screen cuts to black. "Dead Man's Arms" continues playing over the end credits. _

KG _(V.O.)_: **HEY!**

_A record needle scratch sound effect is heard as the camera immediately cuts back to KG, who looks annoyed as he addresses the audience directly. _

KG: What the hell are you doing? We're not done yet!

_Beat._

KG: The f*** is wrong with you people?!

SCENE 16

The Jennings Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

_That afternoon, KG lies on the couch defeated while RK talks to him._

RK: So, that's it? You can't fight this? They're just taking you out of graduation?

KG: Looks like it. It's not so bad. At least I'll get the diploma.

RK: But you won't get to hear your name called so you can get the fake diploma.

KG: I know all about the fake diploma, RK! And the march, and everybody performing "Lift Every Voice," and all the government officials coming in to see me. This is a nightmare.

RK: I don't see what the big deal is. Comedians are supposed to tell the truth about life. It's the only thing that keeps them from being depressed and angry all the time.

KG: See? You get it, but these idiots on Twitter don't. Damn those people. Writing articles about me, trying to look for stuff I might have said when I was high and never got the chance to delete. It was four years ago, I wasn't thinking straight at the time!

RK: Seriously, there's always a chance for you to see someone. But don't worry. I'm going to fight this thing. I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I'm going to ensure that you see your graduation.

KG: Thanks, man. You're a real brother.

RK: Any time. I'm going to go see the guys.

_RK leaves the house. _

KG: Eh, it wasn't the right time. Soon, though.

SCENE 17

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

_Sparky, Buster, and RK are watching TV later on._

SPARKY: You know, I really think we should talk to Wade and Jaylynn. Just try and see why they feel the way they do.

BUSTER: I don't know, man. In some ways, we...

RK: Ugh, that's enough! My brother's getting banned from his own graduation and we're still talking about Wade and Jaylynn getting freaky with it?! Screw that, we've got bigger problems!

SPARKY: Dude, what are you talking about?

RK: KG's comedy show blew up online. And a lot of white people are pissed off at his jokes, so now, he's not allowed to come to the graduation ceremony.

BUSTER: That's terrible! We should start a hunger strike. Nobody eats until KG gets to go to graduation.

RK: Hmmm, a little drastic, but it has potential.

SPARKY: We're sorry KG's going through this, man. If there's any way we can help, we'd love to.

RK: Thanks, guys. It's just that I know how much he's wanted this and now, it just seems like he...

_At that point, Adriana walks into the house. _

ADRIANA: Do you guys know what's going on with Wade and Jaylynn?

RK: You guys handle this. The moment's dead now.

_A bored RK gets off the couch and walks into the kitchen. _

BUSTER: We're thinking they might be doing stuff together.

ADRIANA: Really? What kind of stuff?!

BUSTER: I don't know, we just think something's happening. We could talk to them about it, but assuming it is better than hearing them lie about it.

SPARKY: Adriana, you and Wade have been a couple for a long time. Do you really think he would be dating Jaylynn behind your back? You don't trust him at all?

ADRIANA: Well, um...

SPARKY: Yes, you do. Look, Wade and Jaylynn just feel like they're not that close so they've been talking a lot lately. It's helping them understand each other better.

ADRIANA: You really think there's nothing going on?

SPARKY: No! I mean, what are you gonna do, send Anna after them and cause a scene?

ADRIANA: Please, I would never do anything like that.

_Adriana rubs her chin._

SPARKY: You were gonna do that, weren't you?

ADRIANA: Stay out of my head!

SCENE 18

Chung King TV Studios

Interior Soundstage #19

Seattle, Washington

_At night, RK and KG are dressed up and getting microphones put on them. They are on the set for a talk show called "The Matt McVaney Show" while an audience awaits the broadcast to begin. _

KG: RK, I know you wanted me to defend myself, but you really didn't have to get me a spot on _The Matt McVaney Show_.

RK: Of course I did. Matt McVaney is the most right-wing talk show host in the Northwest. You explain your piece, you take him out in a debate, and everybody will be begging to see you go to your graduation.

KG: No, you really didn't have to do this. I thought I made that clear when you told me the idea.

_RK gives KG a bored look._

CAMERAMAN: Alright, we're on in three, two, one!

_(The instrumental to "Master of Puppets" by Metallica plays over the loudspeakers)_

ANNOUNCER: It's time for another edition of _The Matt McVaney Show_. And now, here's your host, the hardest-working talk show personality in the Northwest, MATT MCVANEY!

_The audience chants "MATTY!" repeatedly as Matt McVaney walks onto the stage and blows kisses to them. He then shakes both RK and KG's hands. The boys proceed to wipe their hands on their jackets. _

MATT MCVANEY: Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to another edition of _The Matt McVaney Show_. My first guest tonight is a 14-year-old boy who created controversy with a ruthless tirade against white Americans at a comedy club here in Seattle. Joined by his brother Ryan, this is Kevin Garnett Jennings!

_The crowd boos as the camera cuts to KG looking annoyed, with the lower third on the screen reading: "Kevin Garnett Jennings - 'Self-Hating White Boy.'"_

KG: Everybody can sip their beer and shut their mouth, this wasn't even my idea.

MATT MCVANEY: Alright, so Kevin, I have to know why you would decide to perform this Caucasian minstrel show in a public setting. I mean, what's wrong with you?

KG: I'm here to set the record straight. It wasn't a minstrel show. I was just telling some jokes about the stupid things white people do. It's not like I hate the fact that I'm white, it was comedy.

RK: See, Matt, my brother is being railroaded by social media.

_The camera cuts to a close up of RK while he speaks, with the lower third reading: "Ryan Kennedy Jennings - 'Enabler of His Brother's Self-Hate.'"_

RK: He can't even come to his own graduation because of the incident. He's here to remove all doubt and put the critics in their place.

MATT MCVANEY: See, Ryan, I have a hard time believing that since a lot of those jokes were rooted in hate. I mean, white people have done a lot of good things in this country. Are we supposed to forget about that because your brother decided to practice legalized racism on stage?

_The audience begins clapping. _

KG: How was that racism?! You don't understand, I was trying to do what Chris Rock did!

MATT MCVANEY: Yeah, and look how that worked out for him. See, Kevin, you're the kind of person that thinks you know everything. You don't. You chose to offend people up there and say many things that the Nation of Islam would say. I mean, what, do you have Farrakhan posters in your room or something?

KG: I'm not answering that.

MATT MCVANEY: So, you admit you admire Farrakhan?

KG: What?

MATT MCVANEY: Would you call it an infatuation?

KG: You don't even know what you're talking about!

MATT MCVANEY: Ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first. Kevin Garnett Jennings is sexually attracted to Louis Farrakhan. He admitted it!

_The audience boos heavily while KG shakes his head and RK buries his face in his hands._

KG: I didn't admit a damn thing! You're just having me on the show so you can make up more lies about me!

MATT MCVANEY: I think you're a menace to society and Trump should have you killed. You're a despicable kid who's turned his back on the white race.

RK: Hey, leave my brother alone! All he wants is to go to graduation!

MATT MCVANEY: He should have the diploma shoved up his ass, maybe then, it will have some value!

RK: Oh, you son of a bitch!

_RK runs up to Matt and begins assaulting him. KG tries to pull him off while the studio audience goes nuts, but Matt kicks him in his leg. KG then joins in on the beatdown and the assault continues until security guards rush in to stop it. RK and KG are then taken away from the stage while the audience cheers and Matt is being attended to, but the Jennings brothers return and resume the beatdown. In the meantime, an inexplicable brawl breaks out between audience members, leading to chairs thrown around and cameras knocked over._

SCENE 19

The Jennings Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

_On the day of the graduation, KG is being confronted by Rodney, Trevor, and Denise. They are all wearing their gowns and holding their caps._

KG: Why are you guys still here? You're gonna be late.

DENISE: We don't care. You've been a part of our lives for years, you really think we're graduating without you?

RODNEY: Yeah, man, f*** what Principal Schaefer said. You're coming with us.

KG: No, I'm not causing a scene. I got Matt McVaney his highest ratings in four years, I don't need any more publicity.

TREVOR: KG, this isn't right. So what if some people got their feelings hurt over some jokes? Who cares? This cap doesn't just mean nothing.

_Trevor shows KG his graduation cap, which is filled with pictures of him, KG, Rodney, and Denise and the phrase "We Gonna Make It" right in the middle. _

KG: Wow, that's amazing, Trevor.

TREVOR: Thanks. It's too bad the school didn't let me use the other phrase on the cap.

RODNEY: You really think "We're Burning Junior High Naked" is an appropriate phrase?

TREVOR: I got over it, Rodney. Maybe you should too.

KG: Look, guys, I know you want me there, but you shouldn't sacrifice your day just because of me. I would be more upset if you didn't go.

DENISE: But KG...

KG: No, Denise, your sister didn't come all the way here just to not see you get your diploma and give your speech. Go, I'll be okay.

_Denise kisses KG and then hugs him._

DENISE: I love you.

_Denise leaves the house. _

RODNEY: We're coming back for you, man.

TREVOR: Yeah, if you even think you're skipping out on Applebees, you have another thing coming.

KG: I'm looking forward to it.

_Trevor and Rodney leave the house simultaneously. Cut to the three standing outside. _

DENISE: I would seriously not give my speech if it meant that KG could come with us.

RODNEY: Don't worry, Denise, maybe we can convince Principal Schaefer to unban him.

DENISE: I don't know if we can. It's already too late.

TREVOR: No! It's never too late for anything. This is going to be a graduation that KG gets to see, whether anybody likes it or not.

_Trevor puts on his cap backwards and walks over to Rodney's car. _

DENISE: I wanna be excited, but I'm also kinda scared.

SCENE 20

Ike's Ice Cream Emporium

Interior Booth

Seattle, Washington

_Around the same time, Sparky, Buster, and RK are hanging out. _

SPARKY: It still sucks that KG can't go to his own graduation. Now, we have to be extra careful about what we do when we graduate.

BUSTER: What about the senior prank?

SPARKY: We can just do something cheesy like put super glue on MacGregor's seat, I don't know.

_At that point, Wade and Jaylynn walk up to the booth._

JAYLYNN: What's up, guys?

RK: Well, well, look who decided to show up, on this day of all days.

WADE: What are you talking about? You guys told us to come. By the way, we heard about what happened to KG. We're sorry, man.

RK: It's okay.

SPARKY: We called you here because we wanted to settle things. It's obvious that you two have problems with us, and we just need to clear the air here.

BUSTER: Yeah, and if you two are going to kiss after this, could you please do it behind the dumpster where no one can see you? The possums will, but no one cares about them anyway.

WADE: Wait, what?!

JAYLYNN: Ewwww, why would we do that?! Are you guys some freaks?!

RK: No, the only freaks here are you guys. Wade, I used to think of you as a role model. And Jaylynn, just when I was becoming a big fan of your work, you pull this shit.

JAYLYNN: I should give you the work, how about that?

WADE: Yeah, you guys are way off-base here. Nothing is going on between me and Jaylynn.

BUSTER: So, what's with the private talks and avoiding us all these days?

JAYLYNN: Well, when we first started talking, we were just doing it to spite you guys, but then we realized that there's a lot we don't know about each other. Plus, it's not like we spend that much time together.

SPARKY: So you _were_ upset about the movie.

WADE: At the time, yeah, but then we realized that it was for the best. It's really easy for you guys to do stuff without us. I mean, I know you three are the founding fathers of the group, but sometimes, we feel left out.

RK: Wow. Maybe you guys _should _kick my ass. Alright, Wade, you get the upper body. Jaylynn, you can take out my family jewels.

SPARKY: No, we don't need to see that. Look, guys, we're sorry if we ever made you feel like you didn't matter. But just because we're friends, doesn't mean we have to do everything together. That's what makes our group special. All five of us can do stuff and sometimes, two of us can do stuff, or one of us can do something with someone outside the group. Or none of us can do anything and just leave each other alone.

BUSTER: Yeah, who cares if you guys just wanted to talk to each other? Friends always have stuff going on that nobody understands.

WADE: I guess we should have talked about it instead of keeping it to ourselves.

JAYLYNN: Communication really is the key to happiness.

RK: Wait a minute, guys. I just realized something. This is the plot to _Another Misunderstanding_.

SPARKY: You're right, it is. Friends think something weird is going on because nobody's talking about their feelings? You guys do understand the movie!

BUSTER: Hey, why don't you guys come see it with us?

WADE: Really?

JAYLYNN: We get to take part in your thing?!

SPARKY: Hell yeah, you do! Let's go!

_The five kids scream for joy as they leave the booth._

SCENE 21

Craig Bartlett Junior High School

Interior Football Field

Seattle, Washington

_A capacity crowd is on hand for the graduation ceremony. Cut to Principal Schaefer speaking at the podium._

PRINCIPAL SCHAEFER: And now, without a moment to spare, it is my pleasure to hand out the diplomas to the graduating class of 2019.

_(The instrumental to "Tell Me You Love Me" by Demi Lovato plays over the loudspeakers)_

_A quick montage is shown of Craig Bartlett Junior High's eighth graders receiving their prop diplomas. They shake hands with Principal Schaefer, pose for a picture with him on stage, and then pose for another picture after leaving the stage against a backdrop depicting a Caribbean island. The montage ends when Trevor is called up to the podium, but the instrumental continues to play. Trevor takes his diploma, looks at Principal Schaefer's hand with disgust, then takes the microphone from off the podium._

TREVOR: Cut the music, please! Cut the sexy jazz beat, I have something to say!

_The instrumental stops playing. _

TREVOR: Now, I am not an emotional man, but my best friend KG Jennings should be here today. He's not because he was banned from the ceremony.

_The audience is shocked with their collective gasp and subsequent murmuring. _

TREVOR: He had the funniest comedy bit I've ever heard in my life. It was so good, I had to change my underwear multiple times. But people thought it was too edgy, so they tried to ruin his life. And if you have social media, you're killing him too. KG gave this school so many years of his life, and it's trying to kill him?! _Beat._ IT'S KILLING HIM, MAN! I'm done, hit the music again.

_The "Tell Me You Love Me" instrumental plays again over the loudspeakers as Trevor's speech gets a standing ovation from the audience, including Denise and Rodney. A "KG!" chant starts up as more kids receive their diplomas. Principal Schaefer is dumbfounded, but soon begins to rub his chin._

SCENE 22

Craig Bartlett Junior High School

Interior Auditorium

Seattle, Washington

_The next day, with several students in attendance, including the members of TSE, KG is on stage getting his diploma. He is fully dressed in cap and gown._

PRINCIPAL SCHAEFER: I arranged this private ceremony because I believe I was unfair with my punishment of Kevin. We can't control what people say on social media, and Kevin's comedy was simply meant to serve as a commentary on the flaws of race relations in the United States.

_KG's eyes dart back and forth, then he leans into the microphone. _

KG: Yes. That was always my intention with the jokes that I had happened to write.

PRINCIPAL SCHAEFER: So, it's at this point that I would like to hand over this last remaining diploma to Kevin Garnett Jennings!

_(The "Tell Me You Love Me" instrumental plays over the loudspeakers again)_

_KG raises up the diploma in the air and inexplicably screams as the students cheer. Rodney, Trevor, Denise, and the five kids all give KG a standing ovation. _

SCENE 23

Craig Bartlett Junior High School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

_Trevor is whistling "Tell Me You Love Me" by his locker while using his phone. KG walks up to him._

KG: Hey, man. Denise and Rodney told me what happened. That took some balls.

TREVOR: Well, I just had to say it. Nobody else was. Besides, I graduated. What are they gonna do, tell me it didn't count and keep me in the eighth grade, huh? Wait, can they do that? Oh shit, I'm going to be stuck with the seventh grade losers!

KG: No, no, man, they can't do that. They can't. They have no honor.

TREVOR: You know, I don't know if you've noticed, but lately, I've been trying to impress you.

KG: Really, why?

TREVOR: Well, I just wanted to show you that I have more to offer you. That I'm not just some stupid idiot who only says random things. I have ideas, man. Concepts.

KG: You really think I only see you as an idiot?

TREVOR: Yeah. You're always making fun of me. I just thought it was only a matter of time before you tried to kill me.

KG: Man, I don't hate you. We've been friends for years. I only make fun of you when you say or do stupid things.

TREVOR: So, that's what Denise was saying. I zone out a lot when she talks, I didn't even get that.

KG: Look, Trevor, I may not get you sometimes, and you might irritate the hell out of me, but you have heart. You're a true friend. You stuck your neck out for me because you thought I was worth it. And I want to believe that I'll do the same thing for you.

TREVOR: Thanks, man.

KG: Any time.

_KG and Trevor hug each other. _

TREVOR: Hey, can you tell me that joke about the Republicans being in the closet again?

KG: You sure? I don't want you to mess up your pants again.

TREVOR: Try me. I'm not even going to flinch.

KG: Okay, here we go. You know what my problem is with these Republicans, these conservatives? They always want to fake it like they're anti-gay. Like they're these Bible-thumping Christians talking about family values? Meanwhile, they're sleeping with other men in the bathroom, listening to Kylie Minogue records, and taking trips to the Castro in the summertime!

_Trevor begins cackling and slapping his knee repeatedly. He then pauses and his eyes widen. _

KG: I have some emergency boxers in my locker. You want those?

TREVOR: Yes, please.

KG: Alright, let's go to the bathroom. Nobody will know a thing.

_Cut to black._

_("Sledgehammer" by Peter Gabriel plays over the end credits)_

©2019 ANDERSON PRODUCTIONS

SEASON FINALE NEXT SUNDAY


	2. KG the Graduate Backstage Pass

_PRODUCTION/CULTURAL REFERENCES (written 5/21/19)_

-This episode was supposed to be followed by the season finale, but I started writing it and realized that it needed more time than I thought. The basic idea is there, but I don't know if it can sustain an entire episode right now. I have to make sure that this episode is the best it can be, because I'm not having another season finale that leaves a bad taste in my mouth and retroactively makes me think about the whole season negatively. That doesn't mean I'm releasing it in July, but May 19th definitely wasn't the right day.

-This episode's backstory can be traced to the fourth season. In 2015, I watched Chris Rock's "N****s vs. Black People" segment from his 1996 comedy special _Bring the Pain _for the first time. I became a big fan of the segment, and I ended up coming up with the idea of a _Thank You, Heavenly _equivalent to it. The episode would have been called "White People vs. CACs," and dealt with KG's comedy routine joking about certain behaviors and aspects of white people. He would differentiate white people from CACs (Cracker Ass Crackers), those that make white people look worse with their actions and beliefs. The episode just never happened, but it might have had a chance if season four did not turn out the way it did.

-More than a year ago, I came up with the idea of an episode centered around KG's graduation. Originally, if I was going to age KG up a year, I would have just had him move on to high school without an actual episode dealing with it. However, at this point in the series, I have expanded the universe to include episodes about recurring and tertiary characters, and KG is the easiest recurring character to write for. It only made sense to make an entire episode about him leaving junior high.

-The main plot has three elements to it: KG's attempt to create a viral comedy routine, the graduation ceremony for the 2018-2019 seniors of Craig Bartlett Junior High, and Trevor's desire for KG to take him more seriously. I decided to take the "White People vs. CACs" idea and make that KG's main issue in the episode, and the reason he can't attend graduation. This could have easily been its own episode, but it made a lot of sense to include in an episode that's already about KG. The Trevor part of the main plot comes from me finally deciding to take Trevor more seriously. After "Denise's Sister," I started wondering why KG, Rodney, and Denise hang out with Trevor if his stupidity is his only personality trait. This episode wasn't a character study for Trevor and it wasn't supposed to be, but I at least wanted to give him something to do beyond just saying and doing stupid, weird things. I wanted to find a positive quality in Trevor that makes KG care about him as a friend and as a person. While Trevor has always been written as a joke character, I understand that he can't just be a punchline every time he shows up. It's especially more noticeable now that KG has more episodes centered around him. I don't know if Trevor will continue down the same path he always has in season eight or if I'm going to give him more to do beyond being the idiot. But in this case, I wanted to give Trevor what I gave Buster in "Dumb's the Word": A chance to be seen as a smarter person than he's given credit for.

-I originally came up with the subplot for "The Ringer," because I was skeptical that the main plot would be enough to last the entire episode and I wanted something for Wade and Jaylynn to do. They would see Sparky, Buster, and RK spending all their time playing for the Honey Badgers and decide that they should spend more time bonding. However, I ended up not needing it. I still wanted to use the subplot somewhere that it could fit, and this episode was perfect. It was probably the last remaining episode in season seven that I could use it. Including Adriana wasn't part of my original idea. I was actually thinking about making Wade and Jaylynn's bonding a recurring thing and have it be a part of another episode where Adriana finds out about it, but I instead decided to just put it in this episode.

-The original title for this episode was "Good Morning," a reference to the opening track of Kanye West's 2007 album _Graduation_. I believe I was going to include _Graduation _songs in the episode, but I changed the title to "KG the Graduate" after West's controversial comments and actions last year, like him saying that slavery was a choice and wearing a "Make America Great Again" hat in public.

-KG crying and singing "Candy Rain" while dancing wasn't in the first draft, but I added it to make the nightmare funnier.

-Wade and Jaylynn's conversation in the hallway originally ended with Jaylynn saying that Wade asking her to come over sounded like he wanted them to do "nasty things" with each other, which she didn't endorse. However, I didn't think it was funny enough and it sounded awkward, so I added more dialogue.

-Trevor references _The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie _(2004), where Plankton uses "Plan Z" to finally claim the Krabby Patty secret formula and gain control over Bikini Bottom.

-Jaylynn references the _Adriana and Anna's Holiday Shopping Tips _segment from season five's "The Blight Before Christmas." It was a standalone segment in the middle of the episode where Adriana and Anna used Jaylynn's room to advertise _Thank You, Heavenly _merchandise, including the season four DVD which was going to be available on Blu-Ray that same week. Jaylynn walked in and confronted the girls about doing this without her permission, but the TV ended up going to static before a fight could take place.

-Wade references the two previous times that the gang went to Portland together, season four's two-part episode "Going Back to Portland" and last season's "The Simpsons Movie: Thank You, Heavenly Edition." They were both season finales.

-Some of the graduation events were taken from my experience: The senior trip was literally the day after my eighth grade graduation, I failed to keep in touch with almost everyone from junior high, and the graduation practices (in both junior high and high school) were disastrous. Originally, our junior high graduation song was going to be "I Made It (Cash Money Heroes)" by Kevin Rudolf featuring Birdman, Jay Sean, and Lil Wayne, but because we kept being disruptive at practice, it was changed to "Friends Forever" by Vitamin C.

-Trevor references Lin-Manuel Miranda's 2015 musical _Hamilton_. Later on, Rodney makes a reference to Grover Cleveland, the 22nd and 24th president of the United States. Cleveland is the only U.S. president to ever serve non-consecutive terms.

-Buster references the _Toy Story _movie franchise, and Sparky references the upcoming fourth film in the series.

-Along with Chris Rock, the comedians that KG studies in preparation for his routine include George Carlin, Dave Chappelle, and Jerry Seinfeld.

-KG references the 1996 R&B song "No Diggity" by Blackstreet, featuring Dr. Dre and Queen Pen.

-During his routine, KG references Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s legendary "I Have a Dream" speech from the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom.

-The "Dead Man's Arms" end credits joke was originally meant for "Sparky the Fabulist," but for some reason, it just didn't fit so I moved it to this episode. It was definitely the best choice because it made the joke funnier. The decision to use "Dead Man's Arms" on the show was inspired by the _Power _episode "There's a Snitch Among Us," which used the song near the end.

-Until college, at every graduation I have been a part of, there was a performance of "Lift Every Voice and Sing." Where I grew up probably had something to do with it because I doubt that song would get played at graduation in North Dakota or Minnesota.

-I was originally planning to include Anna in the episode, but it was already long enough and the main plot needed more time at that point.

-Matt McVaney is based on right-wing figures such as Richard Spencer and Milo Yiannopoulos. RK and KG's conversation before the show was originally going to be earlier in the episode, as RK would find out about Principal Schaefer's decision and come to Craig Bartlett Junior High to confront him. However, I didn't get the opportunity to write that scene and decided to have the Jennings brothers appear on a talk show instead.

-The use of "Master of Puppets" on _The Matt McVaney Show _is a reference to conservative commentator Michael Savage's use of the song to introduce his radio show _The Savage Nation_.

-I was originally considering making Matt McVaney more of a serious person, but I instead decided to just make him, and his show by extension, more exaggerated like it was _The Jerry Springer Show_.

-Matt McVaney accusing KG of supporting and having an attraction to Louis Farrakhan is a reference to Facebook recently banning Farrakhan from the site, along with Alex Jones, Infowars, Yiannopoulos, Paul Joseph Watson, Laura Loomer, and Paul Nehlen.

-The phrase in Trevor's graduation cap is a reference to the Jadakiss song "We Gonna Make It," featuring Styles P. The phrase "We're Burning Junior High Naked" is a reference to a similar line that Jadakiss has in the first verse of the song: "Kicking down the door and we burning n****s naked."

-I used "Tell Me You Love Me' for the graduation ceremony because the song has a triumphant, grand feel to it, something that you would probably hear at a sporting event.

-During Trevor's rant, he references lines from R. Kelly's CBS interview with Gayle King, specifically the lines "30 years of my career! And y'all trying to KILL ME?! Y'ALL KILLING ME, MAN!"

-KG's joke about Republicans in the closet references Kylie Minogue being an icon in the gay community, and the Castro District in San Francisco. The Castro was one of the first gay neighborhoods in the U.S., and is a very prominent place for LGBT events.

-I remember hearing "Sledgehammer" get played at the beginning of the _Everybody Hates Chris _episode "Everybody Hates Graduation," and now I'm always going to associate the song with graduation. I knew I had to use it for that reason.


End file.
